However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. And hug your wife. My mom realizes and tries to reduce it a little, but to no avail. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? I want to tell you: this will pass. i so wanted to be a mom and was so happy to have her that i never thought i would be such a failure. She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. My son is fine with me round anyone else. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. When I go to pick her up from day care, she wont even respond when she sees me. Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. If we dont see them for a couple of weeks, I feel the bond coming back but we cant stay away for ever & my girlfriend doesnt understand what Im going through please help cause it really hurts & gets me down. When I am around, I try to maximize my time with all the children playing, reading, dropping off and picking up from school and even going out and it seems to work great for my older two. If I feed him, he fusses, straightens. Now he is 22 months and everything has reversed I can see the love I so much needed to see reflected in his eyes and I know he needs and appreciates me. A few weeks back she was ill and I stayed at home to look after her. I give him 100000 kisses daily and hugs to kind of make up for it. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. And when I get her home she ignores me. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. So the legal battles began, the mother finally got a job after 2 years (shes 37) and he was finally able to reduce the child support from $1600 a month to $800 since the mother should have been able to pay for her personal expenses. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. Mine is something similar. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. I think you do have a problem. The short answer to that question is, thankfully, no. It took effort from all of us to get to where we are now, but forgiving each other and moving on as responsible adults to give our boy a good life, is one of the best things Ive done in my life.). It hurt me so much, I feel as if lm not doing enough. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. I thought ever child wanted their mommies especially when they arent feeling well. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. Please help if you have passed this phase. Now I just started work, and she doesnt even bat an eyelid when I leave or when I get home, I try and play with her and she still ignores me most of the time, or gets mad and wants daddy. Do whatever it takes to push her to her place. she fetches her from pre school to be with her , she does mind going with him but when im there , she even cries, she can take anything that he bring her , bt wont allow him to hold her or talk to him. Adjustment takes time. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. Understand your employer's leave policy, if you qualify for FMLA, and if any state or local laws impact parental leave. When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. Much more effective than disciplining a child. The child speaks to everyone on the phone but once she hears its her mother she goes hysterical. It is hard. Take naps together, take a bath together, just go down on the floor (if it isnt too uncomfortable) and play together. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. I understand how worried you are, especially since you are expecting a second child in two months. Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. That is wonderful for your little daughter! Some babies who take a bottle early . It broke my heart. Babies dont put anything extra in a certain word compared to another. At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. Can someone please advise me on what to do? If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. In addition, she might have trauma and losses in her background to deal with. its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. Take days of vacation or maternal leave, ask your mom to bring your daughter to your work for lunch, work from home, let go of as many of your chords as you can or do them together with your daughter, co-sleep with her, talk to her, bathe with her, sing to her. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. The worst thing is that when my husband holds him, he snuggles and cuddles into his daddy and smiles and babbles, and my heart just breaks. Usually at this age, making sure that your child isnt doing anything dangerous (swallowing things, climbing too high, running out in the street, biting himself or other children et cetera) is more or less enough as an ambition. If Im holding his hand, he lets go to stand at their legs and fuss until he is picked up. ), Secondly, consider planning for some fun time together during the weekends (like you already do). Sadly even then I think this hard-wiring can persist until well into school years, maybe beyond. It hurts. Im a stay at home mom and spend pretty much all my time with her. When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. I then take her home and just when she starts to be happy with me, my husband comes home and I am nothing. Dont let this woman take your child. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. I get upset and I feel so rejected, It hurts to feel unloved. not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? Some things you can try to reconnect faster are to: Laugh together! Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. Our third daughter cant seem to stand me and it is really breaking my heart. In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. when i return,, i dont get to see that eagerness in my son to see me.. instead almost ignors me and spents his time with is aunt.. i dont even get a chance to be with him , play with him.. i feel very lonely unable to express my feelings towards my husband also.. nowadays he even sleeps with his aunt at night..i am not able to tolerate this anymore.. feeling light when i write this out openly.. hope that i would get adjusted to this situation.. afterall i cannot expect my son to change. Maybe cuddle up the three of you in her bed for a little story or lullaby? I am sure that one day, he will know who his mother is and what she did for him. Id say that is completely normal! Try rocking gently whilst feeding. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. Is my life set for me, and I meant to be rejected by everyone. What scares me the most is that I dont want her to start having tantrums when she cant get what she wants. She doesnt want me at all, except whn she needed 2have milk. thank you to anonymous who wrote most recently saying that it has gotten better. Thanks. I have been her sole provider since then, her father and I are no longer together, though she sees him often, but she seems to recognize him and holds her hands out to him and is so happy when he comes. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. I cant help having my heart broken. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. thanks for listening to my views. So, maybe this isnt something thats recognized by a small child, but its eventually recognized, in my opinion. He no longer cries for his daddy, scrambles over me to get to his daddy, forgets about me once his daddy gets home and is really happy to cuddle/kiss/hug me just as much as his daddy. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . I had a very difficult pregnancy, my mother was not excited at all, we live with her and she would comment all the time that she didnt want anything to do with my son. It's never easy dealing with a toddler rejecting mom. 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